Shorter Keith "SaruMander" Mander:

Little fanfic, who made thee?
Does thou know who made thee,
Gave thee life, and bid thee read
By the archive and o’er the feed;
Gave thee shipping of delight,
hobbit shipping, wooly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?
Little fanfic, can I buy thee?
I would like to monetize thee?

Unfortunately fandom's response was not supportive, even after he explained that he was a decent guy!

I do love fandom sometimes. NEVER CHANGE (unless it is into a collection of accurately coloured pony toys)

So to further rip William Blake a new one:

Fandom fandom. Burning bright,
On the servers of the night;
What immortal hand or eye.
Could pay thy fearful server costs?

In what distant deeps or skies.
Burnt the fire of thine ships?
To what kink dare they aspire?
What the hand, dare fap the fire?

And what fic, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat.
What dread baby hand? & what dread feet?

What the whip? what the chain,
In what gutter was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp.
Dare its deadly terrors clasp!

When the stars threw down their keyboards
And water'd comments with their tears:
Did they smile their work to see?
Did they who made the fanfic make thee?

Fandom fandom burning bright.
On the servers of the night:
What immortal hand or eye.
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Little really needs to be said about the wank proper.

However.( Read more... )
TL;DR: BMArse Turing-test-failing-motherfucks can lick my delicate feminine ballsack. ALSO: I am more angry about this than I thought I was.