fridgepunk: A sign on garrus' back reading "Shoot a rocket into my ugly stupid face" (Default)
Once again reality proves itself to be a giant cliché held together with irony. Bonus points for it also being one of those things where the election advisor is just trying to agressively elbow nudge the government into holding an EU referendum (AKA any story involving the tories talking about UKIP ever).

For those across the seas who have so many better things to care about than the english and welsh #batmanreference elections... I mean the local police commissioner elections; Basically what you need to know are that UKIP are a single issue party that wants "out of Europe" (while never explaining what that means exactly) and the brand new position of "Local Police Commissioner", that Nick Clegg invented to ensure that england sees one election done by AV*, involves an elected person being in charge of local police finances or something.

Now you may think that there is literally no reason why UKIP would stand candidates in that election and you would be right, but they did anyway because Nigel Farage has too much money and his family really wants him to retry the plane stunt he did during the last general election.

You may also think that in an election where national voter turnout couldn't even break 20%, a party that got almost as many votes nationally as Ms. Spoiled Ballot (former-MP for Staines) wouldn't be considered a threat by the party in government, even if in this particular case where the party in government have lost every byelection since the last general one to the only remaining rival and they couldn't even get a majority in the general election in the first place.

It's almost as though Mr. Fabricant is making shit up in a sad parody of political maneuvering, but how could anyone not trust someone with what appears to be Micheal Hesseltine's face and Boris Johnson's hair? (aside from "very easily", obviously...)

* Ironically the last election I've participated in that used the first past the post system was the AV referendum, and I've voted in 4 elections since with 3 of them using the AV systems and the fourth using I think was the transferrable vote system... literally clichés held togehter with irony...
fridgepunk: A sign on garrus' back reading "Shoot a rocket into my ugly stupid face" (Pony Jerusalem)
General election seems to be about a year away, judging by the sudden Tory propaganda shoved through the letter-box titled "Family voice". Which is bumf about how the "Conservatives" (not the coalition) are "protecting you and your family", where your family is represented as you'd expect from an eight page A4 party political leaflet on behalf of the tories by the whitest couple on earth and their two creepy golem-faced children.

Of course, because technically a general election has not been scheduled, the back does not contain propaganda, but a quiz on the phonetic alphabet and a little "Chatroom safety" list, as camoflage to decieve the stupid into thinking it is some sort of official leaflet, despite the noticable lack of official attributation any where in or on the horrible thing.

But despite that, you don't have to be a rocket surgeon to tell it's Tory propaganda because, despite the current government being a coalition and many of the things touted in this pamphlet being things that only made it through government due to the coalition agreement (the criminalisation of stalking – which is touted by this thing as one of "10 Conservative policies to protect your family" I kid you not – wasn't even a lib dem policy, it was a EU treaty thing that the lib dems merely approved of and the tories opposed – unsurprising really given that its actual passing into law led to all the newspapers going on a "Political Correctness Gone Myaaaad!!!" binge and Tory back benchers mumbling feircely about the injustice of it all, as it would clearly criminalise wolf whistling and verbally abusing strangers! oh noes.)

There is also an alleged "interview" with Home Secretary Theresa May, who is pictured with an expression of "I have just farted on Clegg's biscuits"-grade smugness and is asked such hard hitting questions as "Q: You are also reforming police pay, how will this improve the service the police provide?" And as is mandatory for any bit of tory advertising bumf (like PMQs), there is a pre-amble to the "interview" that mentions, can you guess? Why yes; "Given the financial mess that Labour left the country in..."

So yeah, as with the AV referendum, which as the keen eyed folk will remember began, several weeks before it was clear there was going to be an AV referendum, with the No to AV campaign releasing billboards all over the show as the tories used being in government as a way to do the political equivalent of insider trading.

Which means a general election is impending, oh goody. Everything is, was, and shall now be proclaimed to be Labour's fault (to quote Pinky Pie) FOOOOOOOOOOOOOREVEEEEEERRRRRRRR!
fridgepunk: cat plays with cord of an iron while sitting on an ironing board (Irony)

(doesn't he look young!? Christ, those tory spank-dungeons seem to have been really taking their toll on the poor ickle libertarian blighter)
fridgepunk: A sign on garrus' back reading "Shoot a rocket into my ugly stupid face" (.45 Factual Statement)
So the tax payer funded couple who's tax payer funded wedding saw protesters standing outside the chapel and booing them, came faced to face with the dick-head children of Pink Floyd last thursday, who chanted "off with their heads!" at the couple, as the couple were driven by a tax payer funded driver on the way to a show that they paid for with tax payer money, all of which led to these wonderful paragraphs fronting this BBC article:

Home Secretary Theresa May has confirmed there was "contact" between the Duchess of Cornwall and one of the protesters who attacked her car.

But she did not confirm reports the duchess was poked with a stick during student protests on Thursday.
Theresa May can neither confirm or deny pokings with sticks, will admit to "contact". Right.

All of which actually sounds dirtier than a straight stick poking imho.

And with talk in the media about how close the royal guard came to doing the world a favour and shooting the dick-head children of pink floyd, we find out that the police are quite willing to threaten to shoot twelve year olds who talk on facebook about staging a peaceful protest outside Clameron's offices:

Speaking to the Guardian, Nicky Wishart said: "In my lesson, [a school secretary] came and said my head of year wanted to talk to me. She was in her office with a police officer who wanted to talk to me about the protest. He said, 'if a riot breaks out we will arrest people and if anything happens you will get arrested because you are the organiser'.

"He said even if I didn't turn up I would be arrested and he also said that if David Cameron was in, his armed officers will be there 'so if anything out of line happens ...' and then he stopped."

The Police want to protect your children... from the police.

Speaking of protests against hte government, you've probably already heard about Alfie Meadows, who was hit so hard on the head by police, who'd instigated a pre-emptive kettle of protesters the moment they entered parliament square last thursday, that he suffered a mild stroke and was taken to the nearest hospital where he received treatment fast enough to avoid any lasting injury.

Well the police objected to him being treated and tried to send him to another hospital because the Mole-People that the MET recruits from are very territorial (hence why they smell of piss – the instinct to mark their territory clashes horribly with their difficulties in grasping the concept of "trousers"), which could have conceivably killed Alfie and definitely would have left him severely paralyzed for the rest of his life:

Susan Matthews, 55, said that only the intervention of an ambulance worker allowed her son to receive urgent medical treatment for the stroke he suffered after receiving his injury. "If he hadn't, Alfie would have been transferred and he could have died," she said.

After allegedly being hit by police, the philosophy student fell unconscious and later sustained bleeding on the brain.

His mother added: "The ambulance man took us to Chelsea and Westminster hospital. That [hospital] had been given over to police injuries and there was a standoff in the corridor. Alfie was obviously a protester and the police didn't want him there, but the ambulance man insisted that he stayed."

She said that he was then asked to take Alfie to another hospital. "The ambulance man was appalled and he said: 'I'm getting angry now, and I'm not going to do this.'

"The senior nurse in charge took us into a resuscitation room to keep us away from the police because, she said, they were finding it upsetting to see protesters in the hospital."

This comes on the tail of multiple reports of the police assaulting an Activist/Journalist PWD, Laurie Penny's account being the most concise and vivid:Cut for violence against PWD )
Of course it'll be easy to find the MET bastards responsible for all this violence because they will all have been wearing their badges and officer numbers prominently, especially after the shambles that was the last G20 summit in London that saw an illegally unbadged police officer kill a person, right?

Of course not.

This is what Clegg and Clameron's concept of "fairness" looks like, a concept of fairness that has, in the few months they've had this piss take of a government in operation, driven people to thwarting every measure the police use to stop them from voicing their protests against this abuse of their votes and their futures, and who have responded to being unlawfully detained in ice cold conditions while being intermittently assaulted by police officers by smashing up the buildings and property that their tax monies have bought.

This is far from over, and from here the heat increases for these bullington club bastards who are keeping the terror state that New Labour built and smashing the society that even New Labour didn't try to destroy this thoroughly, and making New Labour look competent and respectful of law, order and human rights in the process.
fridgepunk: A sign on garrus' back reading "Shoot a rocket into my ugly stupid face" (Default)
Found an interesting little flickr photostream that has a few neat pictures in it:pictures and commentary below the cut... )

And no, I don't know what a heat light is either, but I do know that it must make surreptitiously taking photographs of people armed with eggs less easy. Though it probably smells delicious. Mmm... eggs and bacon...

You know what: I Love this country today. Genuinely Love it in a way that I doubt the nationalists like Moon or Clameron or Merkel would ever grasp, for their country is a jealous country, that must be worshipped but never truly loved; because it's a thing above the people and not a thing of the people, and thus those mere weak and fragile person must fear it and placate and make excuses for it during its abusive episodes.

And I will always and especially love My City for its variety, and all the honesty and beauty that that variety instils in it. I miss you so much London, you evil fucking bitch. Keep doing that thing you do so well.
fridgepunk: A sign on garrus' back reading "Shoot a rocket into my ugly stupid face" (Default)

2.33m mixed unemployed
1 large onion (thinly sliced)
1 tbsp. flour
1 arse of lipless pasty upperclassman
2 puckered lips
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tbsp. lemon juice
1/3 indivisible coalition (gently mashed)
£670m university budgets cuts
1 public coffers (drained)
£6b can of vodaphone brand piss
1 fresh duck island


Welding lips to arse of upperclassman, take mixed unemployed and place them into a bowl where you can seperate "undeserving" poor from "deserving" poor using every more convoluted metrics that mark more and more of the "deserving" poor as "undeserving", and keep throwing away the "undeserving" poor until no unemployed are left in bowl. Add flour, salt and lemon juice to empty bowl, and add in 1/3 of an indivisble coalition; using end of rolling pin, proceed to lightly mash until a gloopy white paste that does harm to the downtrodden and enriches the already wealthy is produced.

Then, using the duck island, drain public coffers and, taking the piss, add both into a bowl with university budget cuts, stirring until mix tastes especially sour.

Stir both mixtures into preheated frying pan until a charred and unappetising mess is produced that sets off fire alarms and causes passing birds to fall out of the sky from the smell. Thinly slice onion until tears are produced as you explain how you totally didn't want to make this particular meal, but you felt the meal had to be made anyway precisely because no one wanting the results. Blame things you are currently doing on the past labour government, despite the fact that you're making the labour party's time in office look good by comparison.

Slice onions and cry and snivel as you push women and minorities under passing buses until people stop asking you to explain how anything you just said is supposed to make sense.
fridgepunk: A sign on garrus' back reading "Shoot a rocket into my ugly stupid face" (Default)
Dear Former Bullington Club Member David Cameron,

I know you, like many changelings, experience troubles when it comes to communicating via the expiration of air through a larynx, used as you are to communicating via the great link. And I know that, obviously, the various words used to describe experiences conveyed via the limited senses of us solids outside of the great link can be a bit tricky to get right.

At the same time this does not really excuse you declaring that you could;

"see a line, a thin blue line of extremely brave police officers, trying to hold back a bunch of people who were intent on violence and destruction.

"They were very brave those police officers, but as the police themselves have said there weren't enough of them and the police response needs to reflect that, so I'm very glad that the Met Police commissioner has said what he said."

For starters, you were in china, distant from the protests by several thousand miles. While I get that the senses of solids can be confuddling to one more used to the great link they do not convey fucking omniscience, nor was there any live feeds regarding the protests on the telly.

So no, Former Bullington Club Member David Cameron, you did not "see" a "thin blue line" (should be "dayglow yellow streak" btw), any more than you "saw" this streak of yellow "try" to "hold back" a bunch of people who were intent on violence.

here is a picture to emphasise what I'm saying:edumacational picture below the cut, WARNING: may contain photojournalists )

So please excuse me if I refuse to find the idea of vandalism very shocking, and excuse me if I am unable to congratulate the police on "doing" a "tough job".

Because "arresting students for doing illegal things" is not a hard job, and it's not even a job they've actually done, and it seems that the best place to be at a protest and the best activity to engage in at one, if one's sole wish is to not be arrested, is to be involved in the bit of the protest that engages in the most reprehensible acts, as protesting peacably in a way that involves you violating no laws will ensure arrest while the obligate kitten felchers who plant explosives beneath parliament after setting fire to her majesty's ships while they're in dock who are holding ten foot wide signs displaying signed confessions to said acts of treason, arson, terrorism and animal abuse on them, some how are rendered beyond the reach of law.

Maybe to a former member of the bullington club such an out and out inversion of what constitutes the police's legal duty as policeofficers looks like a good thing.

You are wrong.
fridgepunk: Queen Elizabeth X of Great Britain, guns akimbo and with the legend "keep calm and carry on" in white. (Keep Calm)
ANOTHER ELECTION POST! Ignore as appropriate.

bascially I found the full text of Clameron's ConDem pact, which can be found here (WARNING: .Doc file), and it's...

Understand that when I said all those nice things about the libdems I was under the misapprehension that Clegg wasn't completely stupid, you see I am good at empathy, and when dealing with people at behavioural level I can make, generally what I find to be quite good predictions, with an accuracy rate that is statistically quite significant.

However, there's some people, some groups that I can't empathise with - I just can't get into their heads, I can't understand where they're coming from, and my predictions are less than useless because the predictions make assumptions that the people I'm trying to second guess have something akin to a reasoning mind, and attempt to model that reasoning mind wrt how it handles inputs from its surrounding environment, and while these sorts of people may have rational minds, they've generally buried them beneath such a deep layer of superstition, privelage and utter utter driveling nonsense that any attempt to model their behaviour that tries to incorporate a level of cognition into the model will end up going off in a completely sensible, completely reasonable looking, and completely WRONG direction. Because ultimately rational thought is not at all apparent in their behaviour nor does it apply to how they make decisions, because they don't think, they know, and they don't need to go beyond what they know to actually evaluate individual situations in an attempt to formulate a rational and sensible response to new situations because they know. And you'd have to know precisely what daft nonsense they were learnt at some earlier point to even begin to guess how these learnings have mutated and are actually informing their behaviour, and you'd have to know all that to a degree of detail that is often impossible to do under idle conditions and this renders attempts to predict their behaviour next to impossible.

Basically what I'm saying is that Nick Clegg is a libertarian. As are his libdem pals in the tory cabinet.

Because that's basically what's in the pact; concessions to a libertarian concept of economics and society, while everything else, STV, trident, amnesty for illegalised peoples, all that is gone. To be fair, ultimately, what most of the pact contains is just utter nonsense, because once you eradicate the non-binding weasel words and "we'll think, then do nothing, about this"s or "we'll work out how to square that horrible oxymoron of a circle later"s what you're actually left with is fuck all. But what is there... But it's big, and it's written in political moon speech, and so needs translation.

Well my original plan for this was to do one big ass post for this, but I didn't realise how big the fucking thing is (and I need to research something harder) so I'm breaking this into at least two parts and doing them in bits.

Below the cut is the beginning of the translation of the pact into english.
We can't stay here, it's libertarian country! )

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