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fridgepunk
Hot on the heels of the recent minaret ban, a second, less well known referendum pushed by the Swiss People's Party (NAMBLA) to ban yet another great threat to the Swiss way of life.
And the subject of the ban this time? Hammertime.
Once again this controversy started in the little known canton of Wangen bei Olten, when the non-muslim residents saw a person going to the local islamic community centre in shiney orange cargo pants. The following week saw angry local residents protesting what they claimed to be "hammertime related infractions of the local penal code" outside the local muslim community center. Local muslim residents replied to this accusation by explaining that the original incident was the fault of a single local attendee of the community center who they claimed possessed "no discernible fashion sense whatsoever," a claim ignored by angry residents who went onto blame the souring of milk to be an elaborate muslim plot. Reporters from both local and foreign news services were unable to figure out any method by which the competing and contradictory claims could be assessed for validity.
After a difficult court case, in which the panicky local ordinance banning hammertime AND cargo pants that was implemented was overturned by switzerland's highest courts, NAMBLA gathered the minimum number of signatures to get a referendum on banning hammertime put to the vote.
"The minaret is an architectual feature largely popularised by the christian empires of byzantine and russia. This architectual feature was then adopted by the muslim empires that came into contact with these christian empires, and therefore is a clear symbol of the imminent implementation of sharia law in switzerland like in turkey where sharia law... also isn't implemented, but this turkish guy said something about bayonets, and yes, admittedly any army that actually used minarets as bayonets would either be made up of supermen who really wouldn't need minaret-based attachments for their guns, or complete imbeciles who no one should be afraid of because their army attaches large peices of masonry to their weapons. But the important thing is that Hammertime can also be used as a dogwhistle the rabid nazi loving aspects of the swiss population will react violently to if they're told it vaguely has something to do with islamic terrorism. If we don't do exploit this then in just a few hundred years, after a massive and protracted military struggle with the ottomans if not the black death, we'll end up just like turkey was and inadvertantly lead to the renaissance by becoming a center for learning and scientific discovery. We will not accept that," said Ulrich Schueler[1], a NAMBLA politician and leader of the "stop" campaign.
(poster used in the SVP's anti-Hammertime campaign)
NAMBLA further holds that the hammertime ban is vital to stop the islamisczisczisczationisczing of switzerland - a threat they see to be clearly comparable to the nazis on account of the possibility that the very act of randomly banning things specifically to spite, dehumanise and ostricise a minority group within switzerland might possibly lead to the very radicalisationizingifying that the insane racist campaigns claim to be stopping.
"It is what Hitler thought in Munich in 1942. If these are the consequences, it is the proof that what we are doing to defend ourselves is legitimate, and I feel I must remind people such thoughts proved right in the armed uprising of the Warsaw ghetto less than a year later." Oskar Freysinger, a NAMBLA MP, said[1], going on to compare people who disagreed with him to those mean girls at highschool[1] and Neville Chamberlain[2].
With the referendum vote scheduled for the new year, only time will tell if Switzerland will stop, collaborate and listen before hopefully dealing, in the name of love, with whatever social problems are producing the rabid bastard swiss groups that are being exploited in this kind of shady politics, or whether they will just straight up jam yet another slippery slope up their already chapped and bleeding arsehole.
I'm Kent Brockman.
[1] well, he didn't really.
[2] This he actually did do, the neville chamberlain bit at least;
Because at some point, apparently, it was decided that the reason why Chamberlain got that facepalm worthy agreement was not because he genuinely wanted to stop hitler randomly invading nearby countries and that he thought hitler could be trusted to keep to his agreements, oh no, Apparently chamberlain was afraid of Germany invading britain over the north sea, possibly via the soft underbelly of britain, i.e. Edinburgh.
And the subject of the ban this time? Hammertime.
Once again this controversy started in the little known canton of Wangen bei Olten, when the non-muslim residents saw a person going to the local islamic community centre in shiney orange cargo pants. The following week saw angry local residents protesting what they claimed to be "hammertime related infractions of the local penal code" outside the local muslim community center. Local muslim residents replied to this accusation by explaining that the original incident was the fault of a single local attendee of the community center who they claimed possessed "no discernible fashion sense whatsoever," a claim ignored by angry residents who went onto blame the souring of milk to be an elaborate muslim plot. Reporters from both local and foreign news services were unable to figure out any method by which the competing and contradictory claims could be assessed for validity.
After a difficult court case, in which the panicky local ordinance banning hammertime AND cargo pants that was implemented was overturned by switzerland's highest courts, NAMBLA gathered the minimum number of signatures to get a referendum on banning hammertime put to the vote.
"The minaret is an architectual feature largely popularised by the christian empires of byzantine and russia. This architectual feature was then adopted by the muslim empires that came into contact with these christian empires, and therefore is a clear symbol of the imminent implementation of sharia law in switzerland like in turkey where sharia law... also isn't implemented, but this turkish guy said something about bayonets, and yes, admittedly any army that actually used minarets as bayonets would either be made up of supermen who really wouldn't need minaret-based attachments for their guns, or complete imbeciles who no one should be afraid of because their army attaches large peices of masonry to their weapons. But the important thing is that Hammertime can also be used as a dogwhistle the rabid nazi loving aspects of the swiss population will react violently to if they're told it vaguely has something to do with islamic terrorism. If we don't do exploit this then in just a few hundred years, after a massive and protracted military struggle with the ottomans if not the black death, we'll end up just like turkey was and inadvertantly lead to the renaissance by becoming a center for learning and scientific discovery. We will not accept that," said Ulrich Schueler[1], a NAMBLA politician and leader of the "stop" campaign.
(poster used in the SVP's anti-Hammertime campaign)
NAMBLA further holds that the hammertime ban is vital to stop the islamisczisczisczationisczing of switzerland - a threat they see to be clearly comparable to the nazis on account of the possibility that the very act of randomly banning things specifically to spite, dehumanise and ostricise a minority group within switzerland might possibly lead to the very radicalisationizingifying that the insane racist campaigns claim to be stopping.
"It is what Hitler thought in Munich in 1942. If these are the consequences, it is the proof that what we are doing to defend ourselves is legitimate, and I feel I must remind people such thoughts proved right in the armed uprising of the Warsaw ghetto less than a year later." Oskar Freysinger, a NAMBLA MP, said[1], going on to compare people who disagreed with him to those mean girls at highschool[1] and Neville Chamberlain[2].
With the referendum vote scheduled for the new year, only time will tell if Switzerland will stop, collaborate and listen before hopefully dealing, in the name of love, with whatever social problems are producing the rabid bastard swiss groups that are being exploited in this kind of shady politics, or whether they will just straight up jam yet another slippery slope up their already chapped and bleeding arsehole.
I'm Kent Brockman.
[1] well, he didn't really.
[2] This he actually did do, the neville chamberlain bit at least;
But Oskar Freysinger, an SVP MP, compares warnings of anger in the Muslim world to the arguments used by "appeasers" of Adolf Hitler and the Nazis.
"It is what Chamberlain thought in Munich in 1938. If these are the consequences, it is the proof that what we are doing to defend ourselves is legitimate," he said.
Because at some point, apparently, it was decided that the reason why Chamberlain got that facepalm worthy agreement was not because he genuinely wanted to stop hitler randomly invading nearby countries and that he thought hitler could be trusted to keep to his agreements, oh no, Apparently chamberlain was afraid of Germany invading britain over the north sea, possibly via the soft underbelly of britain, i.e. Edinburgh.
