fridgepunk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fridgepunk) wrote2009-05-27 07:07 pm
fridgepunk) wrote2009-05-27 07:07 pm
Entry tags:
Glowing Fucking Monkeys
Courtesy of the BBC; Glowing Monkeys To Aid Research
The thing that has to be understood is that monkey based science gets the best funding because most of the faculty and research funding toffs tend to be prone to heavy substance abuse, and so all cures for cancer, AIDS and other disorders and diseases must come in a form that will produce a race of atomic super monkeys.
So now that an improved way of creating supermonkeys has been developed, all those cures for cancer and AIDS that have been long promised but haven't really happened (apart from chemotherapy, and retroviral medication, which we already have obviously) can finally get the go ahead, because the researchers can churn out monkeys on the side for funding!Lolz while doing the serious business of figuring out how to hide the fact that invisible psychic aliens are really the cause of all physical ailments using psychopharmacuetical medication.
The thing that has to be understood is that monkey based science gets the best funding because most of the faculty and research funding toffs tend to be prone to heavy substance abuse, and so all cures for cancer, AIDS and other disorders and diseases must come in a form that will produce a race of atomic super monkeys.
So now that an improved way of creating supermonkeys has been developed, all those cures for cancer and AIDS that have been long promised but haven't really happened (apart from chemotherapy, and retroviral medication, which we already have obviously) can finally get the go ahead, because the researchers can churn out monkeys on the side for funding!Lolz while doing the serious business of figuring out how to hide the fact that invisible psychic aliens are really the cause of all physical ailments using psychopharmacuetical medication.